Archive | September, 2010

But its over…

12 Sep

My hand twitches at thought

an involuntary thing. it can’t be stopped

I try to defect, diverge, distract

but somehow you always surface to the top

I keep thinking I owe you something

I need to rationalise what I’ve lost

your touch, breath, eyes on me

your love, my pain, now a feeling gone soft

Few things tumble in and out of my head

sensations clasp my middle

electricity runs through my fingertips

I cant shake off the rarity with which I fiddle

How can something I thought right

turn out so wrong? so unreal?

this HAS to be the end

but it can’t possibly be, for real

I keep thinking I owe you something

I need to rationalise what I’ve lost

your touch, breath, eyes on me

your love, my pain, now a feeling gone soft

babies?

3 Sep

I do not know if this is a whim or a fancy… but I have a sudden yearning to have a child… until very recently I held the conventional ‘Oh, babies are loud. Babies are a responsibility’. But I don’t know if my experiences have subtly changed something in me, or it is a natural hormone created in the months towards my 22nd that make me want to have a child…

I never believed the nonsense about children completing you, and womens’ bodies were made to give babies. But what I do know, is that I am starting. Starting to be mentally ready to have my own child… I always knew I would never love a human like I love my dogs… but would that change if I had my own child? Now, I am beginning to see that I would be the kind of mother who would buy a pair of dogs as my child’s birth gift, let them sleep together, by my side… I would love all of them…

Husband? Who said anything about a husband?

finally…

3 Sep

Finally, doing the thing I love most… travelling and performing. My band ‘yodhakaa’ and I are going to touring Delhi and Pune (in India) for a couple of shows… and I’ve packed in all my party gear… we-are-going-to-go-MAD. I figure I could live like this forever. Travel, see new places, shop, and sing ssssing sing, meet new people, paint, dance, write… I can’t wait, I’m so excited, I can barely type. All you bloggers… Susha is soon going to be coming to each and every one of your places, being a nut, excused from all moral and legal implications because she is an ‘artist’ and doesn’t give a damn!